3.23.13 One day at a time

This is a picture that Peter took of me on a trip up the coast. I was writing my thoughts and prayers in my journal. It was helpful then… and it is helpful now. With Peter’s death came shock and numbness, (even though I had known what was coming for almost 4 years, you are never ready for death). Now the reality that he is gone is becoming very real to me. I recently took a trip to see my Mom in Washington, it was my first trip there without Peter, first plane ride without him there, first lonely dining experience in the airport, and the list of firsts goes on and on. There is a great sadness that underlies everything for me now, and I miss Peter so much. I am learning a lot about grief and realize that there is no way around it. I must take it head on, and do the hard work it requires in order to begin the healing process. I am thankful for the wonderful family and friends in my life who are there to hep me through the really hard days and nights. When I look ahead at the path for my life, I see a big blank wall. I cannot see through the fog yet. But I am taking it one day at a time, just like I did when Peter was sick. God saw us through then and he will see me through now.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
Lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6

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9 Responses to 3.23.13 One day at a time

  1. julie says:

    I love this picture. I remember this day. It was up north for the McNichols wedding. Ry and I came around the corner and found you and Peter, both with your coffee, each writing in your journals. I loved seeing it. Even though you were writing your own separate thoughts, you were together. You were united.
    At that moment, you were at the table, and Peter was over to your right, at a bench, on the other side of the flowers. You were absorbed in your writing, and Peter had his book closed in his lap, starring at you with an enormous smile. So much love for you in his eyes.
    And at that moment, you were together. You just couldn’t see him through the flowers.

    I truly believe this is exactly how it is now. He is still there, Andrea, peeking at you, watching you with love in all your beauty. He is just on the other side of the flowers.

    Love you so much,
    Julie

  2. Joyce Devin says:

    Drea,
    Hugs to you and the family together today. In some way , Kern and I feel we are with you even though we cannot be on this trip to Sun Valley. Though hard and sad, it is a wonderful place to be together with tender memories each of you have. Peter would have been there, too and maybe is in a way. Jenny is full of thoughts and love for each.
    Breathe the high air deeply and know all is well with your souls. Love, Kern, Joyce and John

  3. Ry says:

    I love you Mom! We are all taking this a little bit at a time, but we have each other and we have the best memories of Dad to hold with us forever. Our memories of him are so happy and joyous that I can’t help but smile.
    Love you!
    Ry

  4. Carol Pearson says:

    Dear Andrea,

    I don’t know if we ever met officially but I feel as though I have walked your path ahead of you.
    I have checked on Peter’s Blog off and on and have prayed for both of you and your family.
    My husband also passed away of ALS and was Peter’s parents Pastor in Poulsbo, Washington.
    I will continue to pray for you as you move forward without Peter.
    I have found great comfort in my Bible, the Jesus Calling devotional and getting together with other widows.
    God has not forgotten us and has blessed us both with many wonderful memories of our husbands.
    Blessings to you as God continues to walk beside you on this journey.
    In Christ’s love.
    Carol

  5. diana forsyth says:

    One foot at a time, one step at a time and each step gets easier. Simple works and is okay. Grief is a long and complicated journey that reveals itself in different ways. Go with the steps and the rest will come, so very slowly and then one day the picture will be clear. You have come so far and our thoughts are with you.

  6. Deanna & Pam says:

    Dearest Andrea,
    Thinking of you today and praying for you often! We too are so encouraged by going to Peter’s website, your strength and enduring faith are extremely remarkable facing your loss. We wish you and your family a very HAPPY EASTER!! He is risen :-)

  7. Deanna & Pam says:

    Dearest Andrea,
    We are thinking and praying for you today……We too love coming to Peter’s site and are profoundly encouraged by your consistent strength and faith. HAPPY EASTER to you and your family……….Love you lots!!!!

  8. Mary says:

    Andrea,
    I still come to this site daily, it brings me peace. You are the strongest most amazing women I know and I admire you so much. Your and Peter’s faith remained strong through the toughest of times. I am sorry you have to endure this next chapter in your life, but know we are here for you day or night. Keep your eyes focused on the Lord and the fog will lift, he is a light to your path. I love you and miss Peter dearly.
    Hugs
    M

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